What we leave behind

I will start out this post by saying that I am not a materialistic person, that is not my point here.  I lost my grandmother about a year ago and am blessed that she left me some very nice things.  What I mean by this is I now have some of her possessions that most remind me of her.  While not really worth anything to the average person, their sentimental value to me is priceless.  The teapot we would have tea parties with when I was little, her TV trays we would play "jewelry store" with around the same time frame, a little silver ash tray she would leave change in for the paper boy to pay for the paper for the next week.  When I see all of these items, not only do they bring back some great memories of my childhood, but they are a part of her that I can have with me everyday.

I also inherited her cherry bed room set.  This is a beautiful four-poster bed with 2 gorgeous dressers that my grandmother wanted her whole life.  She scrimped and saved for these for many years and finally purchased them when she retired as a treat for herself.  I am incredibly honored that I was the one in the family that have these.  It is the bedroom set in my bedroom today.  It reminds me of my Gram when I turn my light off at night and when I hear the alarm in the morning.  Being that it is the most precious heirloom from my grandmother, one day when she is old enough, I will give it to my daughter.  I have known this for years.  My daughter was named after my grandmother (her middle name "Ruth") but she will also have something very personal of her great grandmother other than her name.

And that gets me thinking about what I will leave to my children.  Again, not materialistic but items that are special to me and therefore I want them to have a special place in their hearts too.  So I have thought this through, what goes to my daughter and what goes to my son.  I have not discussed this with anyone, because let's face it, it's morbid.  But I know my plan and what I want to have happen, when, god forbid, that time comes.  What I did not realize is that my husband has had this plan in the back of his mind too.  I just learned this fact recently.

The other night while changing my son's diaper, the subject of comic books came up.  My husband is an avid comic book reader and collector and has been his whole life.  He is constantly trying to add to his collection with rare books or replacing ones he lost years ago from too many moves in his youth.  The conversation led to the fact that all of his comic books are for my son.  He wants our son to have his entire collection.  This was the first time that I have ever heard this from my husband, but it really touched me.  You see if you know my husband, you will know how much his comics mean to him.  Much like with me and my grandmother, my husband wants our son to have some of his things that he is really proud of.  And I never knew it, should have guessed it, but it never crossed my mind.  At that moment it was all I could do to not swoon.

It just melts my heart to know that while I know what is important to me to leave to my children, my husband has been thinking that too.  As individuals it is important to us to leave the items that define our individuality to our children to truly remember who we are as people and not just as their parents.  And I think that is one of the best things we can pass on to our children.

The happiest baby in my house

I have spoken here several times about my fear of having two kids.  And three months into this I have to say it is not as hard as I thought it would be.  A friend of mine put it best for me not too long after my son was born.  She said it is not twice as hard with two, it is about 50% harder.  Your life has already had the massive change of becoming a parent.  You already live around someone else's schedule and sleeping in is now 7:30.  Ok, got that, check.

I am enjoying my second baby way more than I thought I would.  Not that I did not think I would not enjoy it, but it is fun this time.  Yes, waking up frequently, poopie diapers, that crazy, heavy infant "bucket" you have to cart them in around.  I really think that it is fun.  Now parents of multiple kids have learned this already, but you are so much more relaxed with your second child.  I am not worried about every small thing that could potentially freak me out as you do with your first baby.  I know he will be fine, I know he will grow, I know I am making the best decision for me and my family.

I think since I am so relaxed this time around with a baby, my son is incredibly relaxed.  Every time I look at him which is a lot, he smiles at me.  I mean every time.  I go to get him from his crib in the morning - SMILE.  I am feeding him - SMILE.  I talk to him as we walk from room to room - SMILE.  I take him with me to the store, you guessed it - SMILE.  And the laughter that comes with the smiling, goodness.  I need to record it and make a fortune off the happiness that it can spread, because you cant help but to laugh with him.  Now my daughter was a a happy baby,  but I did not think that one little dude could just smile and be happy with you all day long.  Talk about unconditional love, I've got it in truckloads at my house.

I think this is what makes it so fun for me this time.  Even as the toddler is running about the house, I've got three loads of laundry that need to be folded and no clue what we are doing for dinner, I still get a smile.  I think it is his way of telling a hyper-active, perfectionist mom "It's OK Mom, it will all get done and we are all OK." (SMILE).  My son is our last baby for us as we are stopping at two.  I am so grateful that I have a happy baby and a beautiful smile to gaze into for hours on end - SMILE from Me.

Tis the Season

So I am sure all Moms out there are wondering what their families will be doing for Mother's Day, looking forward to enjoying the one day a year you get to sleep in, feigning surprise at whatever gift you massively hinted at getting.  And while I am looking forward to that too, the beginning of May kicks off what has always been my own personal high holidays.


While it is Mother's Day it is also my Father's birthday, some years it is not the same day, but this year it is.  So I have to juggle Mother's day with Mom (who is a terrific grandmother, my sounding board for all things parenting and my go to baby sitter) and Dad's birthday (my business partner and I am a Daddy's girl) - and my parents are divorced, so I cannot combine them into one activity.  So there goes the weekend without any Mother's day time for me as Mommy with my family.  Oh wait and there is my Mother-in-Law too.  Did I mention that we all live in the same city?  Great for the kids and ourselves, not so great for juggling the holidays.  So let me figure out how I am going to fit all of that into one 48-hour window, well there is always the weekend after and the one after that.


Then a couple of weeks later, it is my husband's birthday.  He is our family's absolute rock and puts me and the kids before himself on a consistent basis.  And not to make everyone jealous, but he is a great partner from cleaning the house to running errands to cooking to changing diapers.  Yes ladies, he is the perfect husband.  He deserves something great and fun for his birthday.  And my parents (while divorced, they don't mind doing things together for other people, which is quite helpful) wants to do something because they love him.  Plus his Mom wants us over for dinner.  Ok another weekend in May with 2 days and 3 events, so we will roll into another weekend as well.


Now we are into June, yet there is no rest for the weary.  You see while Dad's birthday falls on Mother's day, yes you guessed it, Mom's birthday falls on Father's Day.  So I need to do something for Father's Day with Dad (Daddy's girl you know).  And then, of course, Mom wants to spend her birthday with her family, she deserves it.  Oh but I need a really great Father's Day for the Husband, because he is a great dad.  Hopefully the birthday extravaganza (that I still have to plan) was not so much that I have nothing left for Father's Day.  Ok weekend number 3 in six weeks time that I have 3 activities in 2 days.  But I think I am still making up for the holidays and birthdays in May, right?


Now I am not complaining, I am truly blessed to have so much love and support in my life that I want to do something special for the people in my family.  But I just wish I did not have to do all of it multiple times in a six week time period. 


But here is where I get foolish, I know that this happens every year, but here I sit 3 days before Mother's Day and freak out over all of it.  I have planned nothing, not shopped for any gifts or meals ( in my defense I have a toddler and a 3 month old) nor do I know when I will find time to spend an hour at the card store for everyone (see in my family you get multiple cards that are funny, we prefer it that way).  Forget giving cute gifts with the kids pictures on it because I totally spaced and ran out of time.  But alas, once I am through it, I am done and don't have to worry about it until May 6th of next year.


What do you do for your parent birthdays and holidays....I am wide open to suggestions:)

The terrible "two-and-a-halfs"

We have all heard about the terrible twos right, you don't even have to be a parent to know that one. But Lexie, as she likes to do, impressed me with her behavior so much, that I thought maybe we would miss that milestone of independence. And then she turned 2 and a half (insert sinister dum, dum, dum music here).

I know she wants to try and learn and explore, but as her parents we can provide some guidance so she does not get hurt/fall/eat cat food. She has decided that she no longer needs to listen to her parents. Some examples? Let's see where do I start? After much, much convincing, we finally persuaded her that if she wants to talk while others are talking to say "excuse me" and not scream "STOP TALKING" at the top of her lungs. Now we just need her to know that saying "excuse me" does not automatically mean she gets undivided attention right at that moment. She has also taken to pushing the stools from our bar/counter in the kitchen all over the house so she can reach anything high up. She waits until we are not looking and then it happens. One day she was up on the stool in the medicine cabinet because she really, really needed some Tylenol. My favorite is one day when I heard from the other room "Mommy, I made a really huge mess" and yes she had by spilling a bucket of water all over the floor.

My favorite thing is that the "2-and-a-halfs" have turned us into those parents that I used to glare at in public before I had kids. Yes, we have taken her kicking and screaming out of a restaurant. That kid you just stepped over as you leave Target? Yeah, that was her. The kid pushing the cart all over the aisle at the grocery store. Yup, Lexie again. I do try to give those exasperated looks to others that I used to get. But I would like to state for the record that while annoying yes, if she were not doing these items, there would be a meltdown of epic proportions. So I give in, because I am a parent now and I get it.

Needless to say, I am quite excited to get through this phase and get my well behaved little girl back. But wait, what is that you said? Did I really hear you correctly? The threes are worse..wha? Good grief:)

The dreaded POTTY TRAINING

Potty training...these words have eluded me for a while now. And it is my fault because I have been really lazy about it. I knew that I would have to cross this bridge at some point and time and I kept putting it off. But the sheer fact that I have doubled the amount of diapers I change, the time was now.

I had tried to do this before, but she and I were not ready, so I gave it up. But I finally decided to face my fear head on. I think one of the reasons why I was so hesitant to do this was the sheer amount of knowledge, advice, books, pamphlets and web sites devoted to this topic. There was too much for me to figure out the best method. I asked everyone, checked out everything, bought a bunch of books. I was a little crazed in trying to find that one piece of wisdom, the a-ha moment in how to do it. For me, that did not exist. I thought this would be really, really hard and I needed someone to hold my hand through it. Then I realized that even though I don't know what I am doing in this, I do know that you just have to boil all the potty training knowledge down to useful bits of information that you are willing to employ yourself. Just do what works best for you and your child. The huge potty training industry would hate that I drilled this down to one simple, cliched phrase.

Here's what I did. I picked the weekend that we were going to do this well in advance so I could prepare myself for the end date. I stocked up on little toys and trinkets from stores as my bribes for her and every Dora or Elmo printed potty seat there is out there. One helpful piece of advice I read is that a good way to kick off potty training was on the morning you start to have you and your toddler throw diapers away and say goodbye. It worked and we were head first into potty training. Another reason for my fear, I was afraid of the sheer amount of messes I would have all over the house. (for those of you who ever come over, please know I kept this to a few rooms where I could easily clean up). She ran around in a shirt and panties all day, and while we had accidents by the end of the first day, she was able to run with me to the bathroom to go. I am happy to report on day one we achieved the holy grail of potty training...she pooped in the potty.

So all in all, and it is only day three as I write this, it has gone better than I expected. My toy bribes definately worked. If she would not go, I would show her the toy she would get and that was all the motivation she needed. Her sticker chart is full of stickers of achievement. The grandparents called and came by this weekend to tell her how proud they were of her throughout. The washer and dryer have been humming non-stop this weekend to keep up with a supply of clean princess panties. And today, day 3 we had no accidents. She even came and got me when it was time to go.

The funny thing in all of this was that I think potty training made us a little closer. We are having great conversations, albeit in the bathroom, but that is just fine with me. While I want to keep my eye on her to make sure she makes it to the potty, she wants me near in case she needs to go. Through all of this, I did not realize we were both afraid of it. It was her hand I needed to hold to get me through this and of course, she has done a terrific job.

I am sure there will be many more messes to come and we have not ventured out in public yet, but I am happy that we both faced our fear. And I am so happy to have eliminated 50% of the diapers in our house.